One Liquor Store's Employee's Journey's Through Pooping

Saturday, April 24, 2010

A 3 Hour Journey

It was a quiet morning. I remember it quite well. There wasn't much going on at Zipp's, so I decided to take an early lunch (11:32a). I decided to treat myself to some True Thai. I ordered one of my favorite entrees, Panang Curry. Amongst many delicious ingredients, Panang Curry includes one of my most desired vegetables. Peas. Fast forward to 3 hours later....
It was still very quiet in the store (with one exception). My stomach and bowels were in perfect harmony. This told me one thing. It was time to drop a deuce. I scuttled to the privacy of the downstairs lavatory. The obvious ensued. A few plops and a couple of wipes later, I pulled up my britches and gazed into the bowl below. "What the...?" I exclaimed. Much to my amazement, amongst the tattered remains of food previously digested, was a perfectly placed, undigested pea! It was embedded into a 3.5 inch log, (about a 4 on the bristol scale, see ref.), like a diamond in an engagement ring! This threw me for a loop, (and still does). "But how is this even possible!?", I asked the turd. I have always been led to believe that it takes at least a day to make the journey through the miles of intestines that make up a great portion of the human body, but 3 friggin' hours!? I know that i hadn't had any peas for at least a week, so any remnants from past meals are out of the question. My curiosity has gone unanswered. Google was of no use, nor was my dead grandfather (he was a doctor). I would appreciate some answers, I haven't had a good nights sleep in weeks.

No comments:

Post a Comment